The concept of Self

Well, I hoped everyone enjoyed our class last week. I would like to thank each one of you for really opening up and sharing during both of our go arounds. I really think it was very beneficial. It let us all know more about who we all are, and where we come from. Asking those types of questions next year will hopefully have the same effect inside your own classes.

Next fall the incoming freshman are going to be going through a lot of changes in their lives. They are no longer living at home, some of them will know almost nobody at ISU, and their classes are structured differently than in high school. They will be meeting new people and will have to establish who they are. Some of the students will have never taken the time to stop and think about whom they are, and what has made them into that person. It is our responsibility to, at the very least, make them aware of the concept of self-awareness. We can ask all the questions we want, but in the end it is up to them to stop and reflect upon their lives.

The best way I found last year to inspire thought on this subject is to talk about our own lives, and the things that have made us who we are. This will hopefully open their eyes, and they will take time to evaluate who they are and where they want to go. The best advice I can give as a returning mentor is, just be there for your students. I have had a couple of students who have come to me with concerns about things, some school related and other non-school related. This is where our jobs are most important. We are roughly 2-3 year older than them, and have experienced some of the things they will be going through. They may turn to you for advice, and you need to be there for them when they do.

Another activity I did last year was for them to make goals for what they want to do their freshman year, as well as during their time at ISU. I feel like this really helped some students. Most of them took time to really think about what they wanted to get out of college. However, be ready for anything. This goes for the entire semester. I had one student who said something to the extent of, I am doing fine in my life right now, and I feel like I don’t need to change anything until things are not fine. Therefore he didn’t need goals. So, like I said be ready for anything. You never know what will happen over the course of a semester.

I will see everyone tomorrow at class!

Happy Valentines Day

Well, it’s a little after 4am and it’s still 40⁰ outside, which is pretty awesome. I am really looking forward to this week of warm weather. I’m just sitting in Howe trying to finish a homework assignment with a couple of people, and I thought I would take a break and blog J This past week both groups did a nice job leading the class. Bethany and I will be leading it this week, so watch out!

Most of the topics covered in this chapter can relate to things outside this class. The book asks six questions to identify what stage you are in the mentoring relationship: Who are you, why are we here, where are we going, how are you doing, what is working, what is not working, and are we there yet? These kinds of question can be used during any type of project or activity. They make you stop and evaluate your goals and how you plan on achieving them. This is important for next year too. Right now we should be asking ourselves all these questions before we lead our own classes next year. This is one of the purposes of 311, to define who we are as people, and why we want to help the freshman next year. Next fall we need to start over and evaluate our classes as the semester progresses.

Later on in the chapter the book talks about honesty, commitment, boundaries, confidentiality, and expectations. We need to keep all these in mind next year. We need to be honesty to our students. We are their peers and fellow classmates here at ISU. Don’t be afraid to tell them that a certain class will be hard, or that finals week is going to suck. Also, if you don’t know something, tell them you’re not sure and you will check into it. Don’t give them wrong information just because you don’t want them to think you don’t know something. When you’re honest to your students, and they know you are being honest, you build up a lot of trust with them.

Commitment goes both ways next year. If you say you will get something done or bring something to class, make sure you follow through with it. The same goes with the students. If they tell you they will have something done by the next class, they should. The students will follow by example here. If you show them that you are committed to the class and what we are doing for them, they are more likely to respond positively to it.

Boundaries need to be set up early on in the semester. You need to let them know that while we are their peers, we are still in charge. Also, boundaries need to be set for what kinds of topics will be discussed in the classroom. We are not there to talk about partying on the weekends, and they should know that it shouldn’t be discussed during class. They also need to understand that mentors and mentees can NOT date. If you separated yourself from them in that kind of social situation, this really shouldn’t be an issue.

Confidentiality is very important. If a student is having some personal problems, they should be able to come to you without the fear of everyone else finding out. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t confide in Allie or Silas though. If it is a serious enough issue, Allie and Silas will probably be able to help. Also, if a student comes to you with concerns, you should let your co-mentor know. They also should be aware of any issues going on.

Expectation need to be set up in the beginning of the semester, to ensure that the semester will go by smoothly. Let them know that you care how they are doing in their classes, and encourage them to strive for that A. We, as mentors, should always be keeping their best interest in mind. If you’re not sure what to do with a certain situation, GO ASK FOR HELP. You don’t need to solve all the problems by yourself.

I’m sorry if some of this seems a little incoherent, or it seems to jump. I am a little tired right now, and my brain is starting to slow down. I hope you all enjoy the weather, and I will see you on Tuesday.

Happy Valentines Day!!

Defining Roles

Well, during this week off we read about defining roles. I think this is one of the more important chapters in this book. Knowing what your relationship is/should be with your students is very important. The book list five roles of being a peer mentor, and I think they are pretty spot on. During my previous year as a mentor, I know I was all of these at some point in time. You might even be one of these to certain students while being something different to other ones. Not all the students are the same, and not all of them need the same things. Some will need more guidance, while others just need someone to talk to every once in a while.

The first role they talk in the book is about being a trusted friend. This is a hard thing to be during the beginning of the year. The students really don’t know who we are, and they haven’t had time to build up trust with us yet. Part of the reason we started going on the retreat earlier in the semester is for that reason. We noticed that the students are building closer bonds with each other and with the mentors on the retreat, even if it is earlier in the semester. This helps out with the flow of your class for the rest of the class. You will notice a difference in the class dynamics after the retreat, I know I did. However, after you build up trust with your students and they feel they can come to you asking advice or asking help with some problems. Personally, last semester I had a student who was in a relationship but their significant other (or SO for short) was still in high school. They were worried about their relationship lasting and trying to convince their SO to come to Iowa State. I just so happened to have a similar experience during my freshman year, so I was able to give them advice and reassurance. It was only later in the semester, after there was a great deal of trust, that the student approached me about their worries. I think I helped with the situation, and we grew as friends. Also, it just so happens that the student and I still talk on a regular basis.

The next topic the book talks about is being a connecting link. By default we should all, as mentors, be a connecting link. Within the class, the students are supposed to attend activities such as Club Fest. Also, some of the topics we will cover in our classes’ next semester deal directly with other organizations. So, inadvertently we are being a connecting link as long as we are doing what we are supposed to do. However, we still need to be available for students if they are ever in need of assistance with anything. We, as mentors, do not have to solve all their problems. Many of the organizations on campus deal specifically with some of the problems the students could have. We just need to be there to guide them where they need to go.

Being a learning coach is the next thing the book talks about. It just so happens that we will also cover topics that relate directly to this next semester. We will talk to the students about time management, study skills, note taking, learning styles, and everything else it takes to transitions successfully from a high school student to a college student. What I found to be the most effective, along with making them aware of the material, is to share your own experiences. Tell them how you study best for an exam. Tell them when and where you usually work on homework. Tell them how much their lives are going to suck when they can’t get any sleep. I felt that the students were more receptive of what we were talking about when we were sharing our own experiences. Also, be honest. The students will trust you more when they know that you are being truthful, and not just saying what they want to hear. My students knew when I only got 2 hours of sleep, or no sleep at all, the night before our class. I didn’t try to paint a pretty picture of college. College is hard work, and if you want to succeed, it isn’t going to be easy.

I sort of feel that being a student advocate is similar to being a connecting link. You need to be aware of what the student’s options are, and where to send them for help. When in doubt about what to do, just ask Silas, Allie, or Debra. They are all willing to help with any situation. Last semester I had a student who was regularly skipping class, and not getting his work done. My co-mentor and I tried several times to contact them about the issues they were having, but to no avail. So, we went to Allie and Silas. They assessed the situation, and took matters into their own hands. We, my co-mentor and I, were kept in the loop on the student’s current status, and were able to give some help during our own class time. So, the moral here is: Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

The last topic the book covers is on being a peer leader. It talks about leading by example. You are older and hopefully wiser than the students, and they know that. They should look to for advice on certain situations. We already went through the transition to college, and we survived. To disagree with the book a little, I don’t think it should always be about leading by example. Sometimes we make mistakes, and what is important is that we, and the students, learn from them. So basically, do as a say and not as I do (but only on some situations). Also, in order to be a leader, you need to set a good example on certain subjects. One in particular is drinking. We will be talking about this in class sometime, so I’m going to skip it for now.

Overall, you really need to be all five of these things with your students. Some might take a while to establish, and others might come just by leading the class. It all depends on the students. The best thing you can do is to be adaptable, and be ready for the unexpected. You never know who is going to walk through those classroom doors.

UST 311 Peer Mentor retreat!

UST 311 Peer Mentor retreat!